我们见过父母、拍过婚纱照, 却还缺一张结婚证书
We've got our parents' blessing and a perfect wedding, but we want an official marriage certificate in China
我叫铃鼓，是武汉的一名女同性恋。我和伴侣唐在一次拉拉聚会中一拍即合。在那场聚会上，来了近百个拉拉网友。大家都比较矜持、各玩各的，但唐走到我面前，很商务的伸出手说：“我的网名叫唐，我想认识你。” 我无法拒绝这个礼貌的握手，更无法抗拒一个率真、得体的恋爱对象对我发来的粉红信号。我们的故事就从那一晚开始了。My name is Linggu and I’m a lesbian in Wuhan. My partner Tang and I met at a “lala” (a non-derogatory Chinese slang term for lesbian) gathering and we hit it off immediately. Nearly a hundred lala netizens joined the gathering. Everyone was quite reserved and enjoyed on their own, but Tang came to me, reached out in a quite formal way and said: "I use the name Tang on the net. I’d like to know you." I couldn’t refuse the polite handshake, still less could I resist the pink signal sent to me by a frank and decent lover. Our story began from that night.她说她开了6家餐饮店，如今正在另谋发展。而我当时正因恋爱与工作的不如意而自怨自艾。聚会之后的第二天，我稍微收拾了一下就搬去她的住处，在她打工的地方入职。不久，我们双双离职，合伙开了一家属于我们的新店。She said that she had 6 restaurants and was considering to pursue new goals, while I was being upset for unsatisfactory work and relations at that time. On the next day after the gathering, I packed lightly and moved in to her place. I started to work with her too. But soon after, we both left the company and opened a new store of our own.我是独生子女。认识唐时，我已出柜三年，家人很疼爱我，亦曾陪我多次参加同志公益活动，为LGBT群体发声。而唐来自乡镇，一个典型的重男轻女的多子家庭。她与家人的联系不甚紧密，但当我与她回家拜年时，亦告知身份，互赠礼物，双方点到为止。I’m the only child of my family. When I met Tang, I’ve been out for three years. My family loves me very much and has accompanied me to many LGBT activities to voice for the community. Tang, on the other hand, comes from the township, a typical patriarchal family with multiple kids. She’s not very close with her family, but when I went to her home with her to celebrate the Chinese New Year, we did not cover our relation and exchanged gifts with everyone. We don’t push too far.我很欣赏她屡次创业的头脑与魄力，更觉得在接连遭遇失败打击之下仍能泰然处之的她，是我心目中的豪杰。与她相比，我的技能点则点在了反方向。文学系毕业的我，优柔寡断、谨小慎微，常常在店铺运营的决策上，给她发热的头脑泼点冷水降温。在日常工作中，她总是雷厉风行，谈生意、做业务，为我们的小家赚钱。我则发挥我的专长，配合做一些文职工作。另外，我还喜欢精打细算，网购“薅羊毛”，不花几块钱，就把家里的日用品打点得明明白白。朋友们常说，像我这样穿戴朴素、花钱节俭的P在圈子里不多见了，但我一直有一个观点，就是两个人在一起生活，应该彼此经济独立。自己也要有一份收入，不能总依赖伴侣。我们俩一个开源，一个节流，把每一个平淡日子，都过出了滋味。Tang is a hero to me. I really appreciate her mind and courage, much more her calmness when facing successive failures. In contrast, my skills seem to lie in the opposite direction. A graduate in literature, I’m indecisive and cautious. I always pour cold water over her passionate operational decisions. In the daily work, she's always resolute, negotiating with people and running the business to support our small family, while I'm good at the clerical works. I also like to spend wisely. Shopping online to save every penny, our household necessities never cost much. My friends always say that simple and frugal fem like me are not very commonly seen in the community now. But I've always had this simple idea that two people living together should be financially independent from each other. You need to have your own income and can’t always rely on your partner. We divide the work with one earning money and the other saving it, and together we knitted every ordinary day into a joyful song.因为我是一个省钱girl，我和唐的婚纱照是分两次拍的，都是不同的风格。第一次是在一家个人工作室，价格便宜，婚纱裙子很多。那一次我穿着白纱披着头纱，唐穿着礼服，头发弄了个临时的卷，在公园里拍外景。那一刻，在我们彼此眼中，对方都美极了，若此时有人能为我们证婚，我们真想原地说“Yes, I do”。Our wedding photos were taken in two shots with different styles. The first time was done with a personal studio. The price was cheap and the choices of wedding dresses were abundant. I wore white with a veil of the same colour, while Tang was in a suit and had her hair curled temporarily. We took the photos in a park and we both looked gorgeous in the eyes of each other. If someone could officiate the marriage for us then, we really wanted to say the words "Yes, I do".那时候，在我们旁边还有一对新人也在拍摄，是一个穿军装的兵哥哥和他的新娘。说不羡慕是不可能的，我酸酸的想着。就算那个军嫂和丈夫聚少离多，他们至少也有法律承认的婚姻关系，但我和我的伴侣却没有办法领结婚证，只能通过拍婚纱照来小小的自嗨。后来，我们又在一个专业连锁古风影楼拍了红色的秀禾服主题的照片，完成了我的红妆嫁衣心愿。在拍摄过程中，影楼的工作人员全程热情，没有任何的歧视。当然啦，本来我付费的内容里是包含2个女生的精致面妆和发型的，但我的伴侣只需要按男士妆容稍微打理一下即可，对化妆师来说还省事一些。至于摄影师，也巴不得多捕捉一些我们甜蜜的瞬间，希望我们多花钱买更多底片。（我当然没有~）On that same day, there was another couple shooting in the park, a soldier in the military uniform and his bride. “It’s simply impossible not to envy them”, I thought beside the newlyweds. Even though they would probably be apart from each other a lot, with the husband serving in the army, at least their marriage is legally recognised. Tang and I, however, have no way to get a marriage certificate. The only thing we could do is to take wedding photos by our own to entertain ourselves. Later we took another group of wedding photos at a professional chain studio, with the theme of Chinese style Xiuhe costumes. That fulfilled my dream to marry in red. During the photo taking, the staff was always cordial and never showed any discrimination against us. Understandably though, the product content I paid for should have included two exquisite makeups for girls, whereas my partner actually didn’t need much care for hers so that’s little trouble for the makeup artist. As for the photographer, he’s more than willing to capture more of our sweet moments so that we could pay more for the films. (Of course I didn't ~)![]()
总之，亲身经历告诉我，服务行业，只要是正常消费，别人才不会管你是不是同性恋呢。没有人和钱过不去。我们首先要悦纳自己，要和自己过得去。
In short, my personal experiences taught me that as long as it’s normal consumption and you pay the money, the service industry will not care whether you are gay or not. No one would turn their back at greenbacks. We have to first accept and care for ourselves.
现在民法典婚姻家庭编三审稿正在征集关于婚姻家庭方面的意见，我和我的伴侣也参与了这次征集，希望同性婚姻在中国合法，希望LGBT群体能被看见。和之前拍婚纱照一样，这次递交意见也是正常的权利行使。自己上网填，自己要付流量费，寄快递的，自己出快递费。提出意见的权力是每个公民都拥有的，我们为什么不理直气壮？
Now the third deliberation draft of the Civil Code Part on Marriage and Family is calling for opinions from the public. My partner and I have also participated in submitting the opinions. We hope that same-sex marriage can be legal in China and that the LGBT community can be seen. As with wedding photos, the submission is also a normal exercise of our rights. We pay for the traffic fees if we submit it online, or we pay for the shipping fees if we send it by mail. The right to voice our opinions is entitled to every citizen. We have justice on our side.
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如果中国的同性恋可以结婚了，我们一定会立刻店铺打烊，打车去民政局排队。因为在正常的“公序良俗”里，领证这件事应该在拍婚纱照之前、在发喜糖之前搞定。缺失这一张结婚证书，就像我们人生游戏里一直跳不过去的“任务”，生命拼图里空白的一块。
If gay people in China can get married legally, we will immediately close our store, take a taxi and queue at the Civil Affairs Bureau. In our “normal customs”, getting the marriage certificate should be done ahead of taking wedding photos, handing out wedding candies and so on. This certificate is like a “mission” in our life that should have been but never has been completed, a missing piece of the jigsaw.
我们真的很需要这张证书，所以，拜托了！希望中国同性婚姻法早日通过！
We really need this certificate. So please! We hope that the Chinese same-sex marriage law will be passed soon!
铃鼓&唐 Linggu&Tang
2019-11-20
（Translater:Mega）
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我们要把同性婚姻加入民法典
We want same-sex marriage in the Civil Code
"民法典婚姻家庭编三审稿"于2019年10月31日在中国人大网公布，征求公众意见，截止日期是2019年11月29日。截止11月20日，该草案目前已经得到了135643公众的参与，合计得到161921条建议。
The third deliberation draft of the Civil Code Part on Marriage and Family was released on npc.com on 31 October 2019 for public opinions， and the DDL is on 29th December . As of November 20, it has attracted the participation of 135,643 citizens, with a total of 161,921 opinions.![]()
图片来源：中国人大网
同志们，这是法律赋予所有人参与提建议的机会，我们应该加入提出同性婚姻的声音。公众意见征询是立法必要程序，是每个公民依法参与的好机会。距离上一次《婚姻法》修改已经过去了近20年，按照这个修改频率，如果现在不发声，很多同志就将抱憾终生。
TongZhi (a Chinese slang term referring to gay people), this is the chance entitled by the law for everyone to give our opinions, and we should join with our own voice on same-sex marriage.Public consultation is a necessary procedure in legislation and it’s a good opportunity for every citizen to participate. It has been nearly 20 years since the last revision of the Marriage Law. If we don’t voice our opinions now, many comrades will regret for the rest of their lives.立法草案到了第三稿，大概改变的空间不大，正如也许很多人认为，同性婚姻合法化还不是时候，我们需要做更多的基础工作。这话说的也没有错，但如果我们什么都不做，永远都没有“是时候”。没有“对的时间”，只有我们把时间变“对”。It's the third round of deliberation, and there's probably little possibility for change. Perhaps many think that it's not yet the right time for the legalisation of same-sex marriage and we have to do more on basic works. That's not wrong, but if we just do nothing, there will never be such thing as "the right time". It's not "the right time". It's us making the time "right".
在线提交 Submit online
进入中国人大网“民法典婚姻家庭编（草案第三次审议稿）”意见征集网站,链接：http://www.npc.gov.cn/flcaw/userIndex.html?lid=ff8080816e15a9a9016e168f5636005d
Go to the official opinion collection website for the Civil Code Part on Marriage and Family (the third deliberation draft)Link：http://www.npc.gov.cn/flcaw/userIndex.html?lid=ff8080816e15a9a9016e168f5636005d根据我国宪法第四十九条对于婚姻、家庭的保护，和对“婚姻自由”的维护，同性伴侣的法律关系需要在婚姻家庭编中得到体现和保护。建议该编所有法条中的“夫妻”改为“配偶”，“男女”改为“双方”。以保障每位成年公民的平等结婚权。”
According to Article 49 of the Constitution of the People's Republic of China on the protection of marriage and family as well as the protection of "marriage freedom", the legal relationship of same-sex couples needs to be reflected and protected in the Part on Marriage and Family. It is suggested that the term “couples” in all the articles be replaced by “spouse”, and “men and women” by “two parties”, to guarantee the equal right to marry for every adult citizen.线下提交Submit offline
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将我们的修改建议，我们的看法，我们的故事等通过EMS寄给人大法工委。地址是：北京市西城区前门西大街1号，邮编100805。信封上要注明“民法典婚姻家庭编草案三次审议稿征求意见”。Send our suggestions, our opinions and our stories to the National People’s Congress Law Commission through EMS. The address is: No.1, Qianmen West Street, Xicheng District, Beijing, 100805. The envelope should be marked with "Opinions on the third deliberation draft of the Civil Code Part on Marriage and Family".
请大家在提交意见和寄EMS的时候截图及拍照，并按以下要求发送电子邮件给我们：Please take a screenshot or a photo when you submit the opinion or send EMS, and send an email to us as follows:
邮件标题（Title）：三审稿（The third deliberation draft）发送至（Send to）：freechoiceofpartners@tutanota.com邮件正文：x人提交了x条意见，寄了x封信（记得在附件里添加你拍的照片及截图）Content: x person/people has submitted x opinion(s)/sent x mail(s). (Please remember to attach your photos or your screenshots.)