Qixi & The Mother-in-Law from Heaven / Hell

Love is hard.

Consider the Qixi Festival, also known as Chinese Valentine's Day, on August 25.

It's a classic rich girl-poor boy story. But a thousand times crazier.

In short, a bored – and single – cloud weaver flies from the Heavens to Earth. She marries a cow farmer, has children and almost lives happily ever after.

Except for her Mom, the Empress of Heaven, finds out and is super angry her lovely daughter married a mere human. She dispatches the equivalent of the Space Army to bring her girl home.

Then things get crazier.

The farmer's Best Ox sees the farmer and children are sad and starts to talk. Yes, a talking ox. The ox basically says, "If you guys kill me and wear my hide, you can fly to the Heavens and reunite." (That's one loyal animal!)

The plan works. Almost.

The Mother-in-Law from Heaven / Hell finds out just before the lovers can reunite. She uses a hairpin to scratch the heavens and creates a Silver River – we call it the Milky Way – and keep the pair apart.

Then things get crazier.

Billions of birds – magpies – fly up to the Heavens. (How did these birds survive? Tiny space suits? Nobody knows.) The birds create a bridge over the Silver River so the lovers can finally meet and enjoy a bottle of Champagne.

Why Champagne? Because when the 17th-century monk Dom Perignon first tasted this bubbly wine, he exclaimed, "Come quickly, I am tasting the stars!"

Also, why not?

And after that Champagne, maybe they had Mad Bird Dark Malbec from Argentina, a wine with a name that salutes those crazy magpies and is nearly as deep in color as deep space.

By that way, that Malbec should pair nicely with a dish that pays tribute to the Best Ox, the animal that made a reunion of lovers possible – braised oxtail stew.

Try some for Qixi Festival. It's held on the seventh day of the seventh month of the Lunar calendar when the birds get together to create that bridge. And be thankful your love life is much easier.