Charlene Ng Wants To Help You Be Calmer and Happier

Charlene Ng is a life coach, passionate about helping teens and adults cope with stress so that they can feel calmer, happier, and ultimately succeed in all they do. She grew up in Hong Kong, went to boarding school in the US, and later graduated with distinction from Stanford University with a degree in psychology. In 2005, she moved to China to build teams at several internet companies such as Google and Alibaba. Currently, she lives in Beijing with her husband and 7-year-old son.

What’s on your mind?
At the moment, it’s getting through the rest of the summer! It is the most stressful time of the year as I feel responsible for arranging activities for my kid to keep him entertained. At the beginning of this summer, however, I chose a mantra – “Boring is Good.” My focus has been to slow down and spend quality time together instead of shuffling him from one activity to another.

For sure, it’s still exhausting, but I’ve learned to rest or work by telling my kid without guilt, “I need some space.” I’ve also learned to trust my kid more. When I mentioned the stress of arranging activities for him during vacation, perplexed by why I felt responsible, my kid said, “I can arrange my own activities and playdates!” I gave him a big hug for reminding me.

I’m also giving a workshop for teens on managing stress with mindful self-compassion before the school year starts. Teens are under immense stress nowadays, and they often criticize themselves harshly to improve or motivate themselves, which creates even more stress. But science tells us being kind to ourselves is a much better way to motivate ourselves and succeed. I’m really excited to share tools that teens could apply immediately in their daily lives to reduce stress and increase joy.

What’s your motivation to get moving?
Like many, I’ve developed a harsh inner critic since young in order to push myself to achieve – setting high expectations for myself and beating myself up when I am “lazy” or make mistakes. The inner critic might have been helpful at times but it came at a cost. Deep down, I’ve felt I’m not enough; not good enough, not smart enough, not efficient enough, etc. Focused on my flaws, I’ve struggled with self-doubts and fear of failure.

Since practicing mindful self-compassion, I’ve learned to be kinder to myself, and my life has changed dramatically. Being kind to myself doesn’t make me lazy or self-indulgent. Now, I boost my motivation by being nice to myself.

BUT WAIT! There's more to this interview, which was originally published on our sister site, Jingkids International.

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