What Exactly Do You Wear to a Pizza Festival, Anyway?

原创 Tom A. theBeijinger

As is always the burning question on everyone's tomato-stained, cheese-encrusted lips in the weeks leading up to our massive celebration of all things pizza in Beijing: what exactly do you wear to a Pizza Festival, anyway?

One thing's for sure, whatever threads you settle on come September 16-17 at Wangjing Soho, it should be an expression and extension of your inner self, preferably elasticated for easy expansion of your outer self, and most important of all, in keeping with this year's theme: Carnival.

In the interest of international inclusion, carnival in this sense can be whatever you associate most with the word. That means you could either come as a clown (people love them, doncha-know) or a sexy Brazilian dancer (people genuinely love them) orrr why not push the boat out completely and come as both?

Sadly not a still from the remake of 'It'

Ok, maybe not. There will be children present, after all.

To steer you in the right direction, below are some real ideas sourced from the best website to ever exist: Taobao.

Sexy carnival dancer (RMB 140)

You'll be the talk of the Wangjing town in this little half-man, half-bird number. Shake those tail feathers and distract the hordes of pizza lovers in an effort to waltz your way to the front of the line. Run out of napkins? No bother – tear off part of your skirt and wipe away – your class knows no bounds.

Not-terrifying-at-all clown costume (RMB 15-99)

Alternatively, come as everyone's favorite carnival clown, complete with balloon pouch and questionably shaped balloons. Failing your ability to conjure up enough lung power to make a flaccid object phallic, transform your creepy little shoulder bag into a beer satchel instead. Your friends will soon overlook the fact that you're wearing this.

I take it all back (RMB 75.16)

I feel like we need to set some parameters right now. You won't be allowed into the venue if you wear this.

Mr. Faded Pizza Man (RMB 640)

Okay, you won't actually be able to eat, see, or go to the toilet with any semblance of ease in this spongy, Mickey-mouse-gloved wedge, but if you fall over at least you're guaranteed to be the most comfortable person in Beijing.

And with that, we only have three weeks to go to the big event! So, what are you waiting for, grab your tickets now for RMB 20 to make sure that your future-self doesn't go hungry. Make sure to mark the dates in your calendar, snag your tickets early by scanning the QR codes below, and start making a mental note of all the pizza you will shove into your face from now until September so that you can better revel in the joy that is the Beijinger 2017 Pizza Festival. You'll need it to fuel your carnival costume-making imagination!

Scan/Extract the QR code above to reserve tickets in English

Scan/Extract the QR code above to reserve tickets in Chinese

Images: Pinterest, Taobao, the Beijinger, Uni You

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