BJ Bunker: The Benefits of Family Support in Uncertain Times

原创 Tom A. theBeijinger

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As Beijing enters its third week in self-quarantine, the stories of how people have been dealing with the Covid-19 outbreak – by staying, leaving, or watching on from afar – are many and varied. In Beijing Bunker, we quiz Beijingers on what approach they've been taking to stay safe and sane through the ordeal.

When Covid-19 hit, British expat Astra Holmes may have been more prepared than others. As well as having spent over two decades in China, she was working for one of Beijing's largest international hospitals when SARS broke out in the south of the country in 2002. That experience, however, didn't prevent her from being stranded from her husband and son following a holiday to India. She tells the Beijinger about that experience, and how her hobbies have helped her cope with the unfolding uncertainty.

Can you first tell us a little bit about yourself and your background?
I am originally from the UK, I have been in China for over two decades; I came as a student, met my Chinese husband, eventually had a child and stayed. When SARS happened I was working at Beijing United Family Hospital as the HR manager, with a three-year-old child. Over the many years here I have been involved in several industries. At present, I have a fledgling natural skincare company, The Green Room, and am heavily involved in decluttering, which stemmed from my previous incarnation of an interior designer.

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Would you consider yourself safe, sane, safe and sane, or other? Why?
I’d say I am safe and sane, but it can depend a bit on the day. It has been interesting to watch the inner workings of my mind play out over the last month. I lose hours that I can’t account for. It’s amazing how time is such an elastic concept, and in fact, this time has felt short in some ways as it hasn't been filled with busy activities, which usually mark our days. Having gone through SARS, I’ve had experience with this before, and this time around things have been dealt with more professionally, systematically, and you can see that a lot was learned from that experience.

Has the virus disrupted your travel plans or those of your loved ones?
When this first started I was with friends on holiday in India, and my husband and son were in Beijing. Watching the foreign news was panic-inducing; CNN was the worst and it sounded like the apocalypse was happening. My WeChat circles were much calmer and considered. Family from all over the world kindly offered to host us but my husband would have found it difficult to leave and my son didn’t want to leave, and in the end, Beijing is my home. So I returned to Beijing on Feb 2, and was shocked at how empty it was. On the ride home from the airport, I didn’t see a single car on Dongzhimenwai Dajie: no honking cars, no bustle, just quiet. It was shocking to see this usually densely populated, loud vibrant city like this, and a real disconnect from Mumbai with its colors and vitality.

Holmes flying back to Beijing from India earlier this month

How have you been spending your time since the outbreak? How has your life changed or not changed on account of the situation?

I'm lucky to be a part of a great community called WellWomen, which creates content about fitness, the home, mental health, parenting, and style. I am a mentor in the fitness group and we have been doing a challenge during February, which has been great for my mental health and a good motivation to get out of bed. In January, I also led a 30-day quick decluttering challenge, and that has led to an active group, with so many people with more time on their hands and stuck at home. Both of those roles have been very fulfilling, and have given some purpose to the days in helping people create some structure and stay healthy in mind and body during this discombobulating time. I am definitely on social media much more, and every day I have had to turn off my screen time alarm for WeChat.

Has the situation affected your work or business? If so, how?
My business partner and I were in the final leg of bringing our Green Room skincare products to market, just before this all happened. Everything has come to a grinding halt, and if SARS is anything to go by, it will take months for the business to return to normal. So being aware of that, not pushing, letting this time pass, and not getting frustrated is very important. We're focussing on organizing as best we can for the next steps, and taking this breathing time while the merry-go-round has stopped, to get everything in order, pop our heads up and contemplate is the most sensible move.

Have there been any unexpected "upsides" to this whole situation?
It's weird when 'life' suddenly stops. We rush around filling our days with activities. It’s been interesting to just pause, watch my brain work, realize how mentally strong I am. I am more present with my family and friends because I’m not distracted by the minutia of life. I’ve been enjoying cooking with my son and have been super appreciative of the fact that my husband has suddenly taken up cleaning as a hobby. My house is beyond organized.

Which resources (online or real-life) have proven the most useful to you during this time?
I’ve been online more than usual during this time. I love the WeChat circles I’m a part of for being sensible, realistic, and positive. I’m part of the Safe & Sane WeChat group, set up by [True Run Media founder] Mike Wester. I read the Tencent Newsfeed every day, which has good figures and a great section on fake news. Of course, I read the Guardian newspaper and look at the BBC with a judicious eye. The most interesting report I have read is the epidemiological report by the China CDC (chinacdc.cn) weekly. If you haven’t read it and are freaking out, this makes for excellent reading, especially if you are worried about your young children.

What's one thing that you've done that has saved you a lot of hassle/time/insanity?
I think the hardest part of this experience is being cut off from face-to-face socializing. My friends and I have set up a standing date for cocktails via Zoom conferencing, no masks needed, which has been hilarious. Just having normal fun conversations, laughing, and being slightly irreverent has helped me feel saner and not so alone. Also actually WeChat videoing friends instead of texting or voice messaging has helped me feel connected.

What do you most look forward to doing once all of this has blown over?
Getting my business back to normal and taking off the mask and seeing people’s smiles.

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