Starbucks' New Fake Meat Range Only as Good as it Looks

原创 Joey Knotts theBeijinger

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In case you missed it, Earth Day was this past Wednesday, which meant a celebration of hope for the health of our planet in the form of the good-will PR stunts from massive corporations. For China’s Meituan, that meant a day of free sharebike riding, but international corporations took part as well, as Starbucks used the opportunity to launch their new fake-meat meals across China.

For the unawares, meat production is really bad for the environment, a fact that has helped fuel the push to create "meat" from vegetables. Actually, the technology used to make meat-like alternatives without harming an animal has been around for decades, but demand has only recently risen to such a point that the product could be mass-produced by companies like Omnipork and Beyond Meat. Now, Starbucks is using the meat from both of these companies (Omnipork for fake pork, Beyond Meat for fake beef) to create five new dishes.

With the beef, your options are pesto pasta, lasagna, and a wrap, while the pork is available in a Vietnamese noodle salad and a mushroom sauce grain bowl.

The pesto pasta comes with a side of steamed veggies that look more seasoned than they taste. The pasta is savory enough, though it bears the distinct texture of having been stored in a refrigerator. So far, so not great.

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It may be mediocre, but at least it's served in a biodegradable box

The lasagna, which comes with the same veggies, is even more disappointing given that it lacks the flavor that the pesto brought to the table. It also looks absolutely nothing like the promotional picture.

Let's play a game of spot of the difference: Classic Lasagna Edition

Overall, the best dish, despite bearing a striking resemblance to cat vomit, is the Vietnamese noodles. The saucy fake pork is coupled with chewy soybean-shaped noodles, and also comes with a side of cold veggies and a few orange slices, making it feel like the most original as well as rounded option of the bunch.

The Vietnamese noodles might be the only dish really worth trying

That said, are any of these platters worth the RMB 59 they cost? Perhaps if you're a vegetarian with a sudden and insatiable craving for a meat-like product, they might be. Otherwise, both Omnipork and Beyond Meat can be bought on Taobao to make similar, and probably far better, meals at home – and you're likely to save a bit of cash too.

On the other hand, Starbucks’ vegan-leaning promotion also includes coffee drinks made with Oatly brand oat milk, and though Oatly has been around in Beijing for a while, most prominently at VA Bar on Wudaoying Hutong, this was our first time seeing it touted by a major brand. We're happy to report that the breakfasty flavor that it brought to a normally bland milk latte (RMB 29 for a tall) made for a nice change, meaning that even if you skip the food options there's at least an animal-free product you can rely on to perk up your day.