Wedding Traditions to Know Before Marrying Into a Chinese Family

In the West, the bride is often "delivered" to the groom by her father or a member of her family, but here in China, it's the groom's job to collect the bride on the morning of the wedding. That may sound easy enough but in fact the bridesmaids usually prepare a set of challenges and obstacles that the groom – with the help of his groomsmen – must overcome before he's allowed to take his bride away. Popular challenges today include making the groomsmen do push-ups, thread needles, recite the bride's cell phone number from memory, or answer a quiz about her extended family, and so on.

Can't fault this one, folks. Guests at Chinese weddings will ordinarily prepare hongbao containing sums of money that correspond to lucky numbers in Chinese culture as well as how close you are to the newlyweds (think RMB 888, RMB 999, RMB 666, or if you're really close, RMB 1,314, a homophone of 一生一世 yīshēng yīshì i.e. "a lifetime"). Don't be surprised at how transparent this process can be compared to Western standards with one person assigned as the official money counter, opening your packet and noting how much you gave (with the same amount likely to be returned to you when the occasion calls for it). Although the total sum of the wedding hongbao probably won’t make up for the cost of the wedding, it’s still better than a gift that you won’t ever use!

While it used to be very standard for the bride to wear a red 旗袍 qípáo, a traditional Chinese dress throughout her wedding day (often embroidered with gold thread for luck), these days it is more and more common for brides to also wear a white Western-style wedding gown at some point during the day. A white dress may actually take the prime position during the ceremony before the bride changes into another dress for the reception dinner.

One of the more unique features of a Chinese wedding is the tradition of the newlyweds visiting every table during the reception dinner to greet the guests. The groom traditionally has to welcome the guests before taking a shot of 白酒 báijiǔ with each table. Since there are usually around 10 tables, you can imagine that things can get pretty messy, but there is a solution: a smart groom will swap his shots of baijiu for water so as to actually be able to remember the day and avoid starting married life with a raging hangover the next morning.

Usually, wedding guests are given 囍糖 xǐtáng "double happiness candy" or treats to take home with them after the wedding. After the big day, the newly married couple should distribute xitang to their colleagues and friends to further spread the joy with those around them. It might get a bit awkward if you give candy to a friend who wasn't invited to the actual wedding, but generally, these small gifts will be appreciated by the receiver.