Date Night China: "Perhaps the Ayi Kept My Secret To Herself"

Dan Gilles theBeijinger

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This article comes from Date Night China (WeChat ID: datenightchina), your guide to dating in China, from love to lust, first dates to worst dates, hilarious stories, and top tips to avoid (or steer into) disaster. Single in the city? Listen to their podcast.

When I first met my wife, we were both students. I was living in a Chinese homestay, and she in a university dorm.

After several months of dating, things had gotten pretty serious, and I really wanted to find a place where we could have some privacy. But she shared her dorm with seven other girls, while I lived with my host family. Being traditional Chinese, there was no way they would let me take a girl home.

So, I decided to sneak her back with me.

Dan and his wife

One night, after everyone else had gone to sleep, I snuck out to meet her downstairs of the apartment. Not having the key, I left the door open a crack.

I was terrified that someone would hear the door open, or hear us when we came back in. But nothing untoward occurred. We snuck back in on tiptoes, and we finally got to spend a romantic, if hushed, night together.

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In the morning, we woke up early to sneak her back out again to catch a bus, again leaving the door open a crack. This time, I even bought some snacks to account for my going out. This was lucky, since when I got back, the housekeeper was up. However, I used my snacks as an excuse, congratulating myself on avoiding detection!

Or so I thought.

Later that day, when I came back from my Chinese class, I noticed something on my dresser. It was a single, neatly pressed, woman’s sock. I immediately texted my girlfriend, and we realized that in our haste that morning, she had forgotten to put it on!

I was mortified. I knew the housekeeper must have put two and two together. But I didn’t know whether she would tell my host parents or not.

In the end, I never found out whether she told them. Nobody ever said anything to me about the sock, or asked if I had had a guest last night.

Perhaps it was a case of 不了了之 bùliǎoliǎozhī (dealing with the elephant in the room by ignoring it), or perhaps the housekeeper kept my secret to herself.

But whenever I think of the early days of our relationship, I always remember that sock!