Hot Take: Legal or Not, Please Don't Have Sex With Your Students

Julie Wolf theBeijinger

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China recently announced that it will consider banning teachers from having relations with students, leading us to collectively wonder: How the hell is that legal in the first place?

We know that a fair portion of the Beijinger's readership is education professionals, so we've decided to take a stand on this one and say that you really should not be having any sort of intimate relationship with your students regardless of what the law allows. And personally, as an educator who has worked with students ranging from infancy all the way up through high school, I believe every teacher should be giving their full-throated support to this ban. Here's why.

It helps you do your job: Good teachers are highly educated skilled professionals who have a job to do. But you cannot manage your classroom if you are interested in being a viable dating prospect for a student and students cannot effectively learn if they are trying to garner your romantic attention. I am in full support of teachers having healthy happy personal lives, which includes dating. But there are many other, and more appropriate avenues for coupling up that do not affect the quality of your work.

It takes power dynamics into consideration: I understand that culturally and legally the age of consent shifts with geography. But, teachers inherently have power over their students. We control their grades, their future prospects, we even control when they can go to the bathroom. This is not a situation that promotes a healthy relationship. In fact, it encourages predatory behavior. Is that really the kind of romance you want to be a part of?

Stop doing the math. Students are off limits, period.

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It takes biology into consideration: Regardless of the age of consent, our students are still developing the part of their brain that allows them to think critically and take long-term consequences into consideration. A struggling student who courts a teacher out of desperation to improve their standing is not necessarily cognizant of the risks to their health, reputation, and future opportunities. Part of our jobs as teachers is to protect and guide our impressionable students and to stop them from making decisions that are harmful.

It protects the kids who aren’t dating teachers: A teacher’s three favorite words are “I get it!” This is more than just a job: it is a passion and a calling. We care deeply about all of our students and if one child is taking up more space in our hearts because we are romantically involved with them they will receive preferential treatment, even if it is unintentional. By favoring one child you are hurting another’s opportunities to have that “I get it!” moment.

It protects teachers too: If you teach long enough there is a good chance a student will develop a crush on you at some point. This is a normal and healthy part of growing up and it should be a harmless phase. By having very clear boundaries about what is appropriate a teacher can spare a student’s feelings by pointing out that, while they are flattered, it is simply not allowed.

In closing, I’m not here to judge anyone else’s relationships. What consenting adults do privately is absolutely none of my business and I support the right of everyone to seek reciprocal romantic happiness. But I also believe in standing up for and protecting those who are vulnerable. Our children are vulnerable. We need to ensure they have a safe learning environment where they can focus on becoming the best version of themselves and the most productive member of society as possible.