雨果说过女人固然是脆弱的，但母亲是坚强的。这与当下流行的“女子本弱，为母则刚”不谋而合。可是大家不知道的是，其实当了母亲后会变得更脆弱和柔软。

我认识的很多人产后都或多或少出现了抑郁，新妈妈中心理出现抑郁的普及率甚至让人觉得不抑郁就不正常。我曾经就是正常抑郁的母亲之一。

每次想起那几年等孩子睡着后我独自出门在昏暗的小区里走上无数个圈排遣完当天阴霾后才能平静的回到家 ，心头总是一紧。有个冬天的晚上出门觉得没地儿可去，漫无目的的走到附近的一家麦当劳，点了杯热橙，坐在吧台发呆直到关门。再独自回到家时，安静得好像什么都没发生一样。

和身边很多妈妈聊天时都认同一个观点：婚姻中最难的是孩子出生后第一年。爸爸是第一次当爸爸，可是妈妈同样也是第一次啊！妈妈还会经受更多身体和心理上的折磨：剖宫产的需要刀口恢复、身材走形得不像话只能不管不顾、涨奶的痛是从来没有预期过的痛苦、而为人之母之前怎么还会想到会有乳头皲裂这种词汇……巴尔扎克说母爱是女人心中是简单、自然、丰硕、永不衰竭的东西，可是母亲同样也需要爱。

已经儿女双全的凯特王妃在上月英国母亲节的一次演讲中提到对母亲心理问题的重视和关爱，尤其是孕期和初为人母的时候。

演讲中凯特反复用到一个词overwhelming ，中文很难有对应的翻译。朗文词典解释是“having such a great effect on you that you feel confused and do not know how to react 难以抗拒的，令人不知所措的”。这正是初为人母的状态。其实每个刚强的母亲背后都藏着脆弱和忧郁，不要等到已经出现医学上的抑郁症了造成不可挽回的后果了才想到关心母亲。

▲ Simne Cake 英国母亲节传统蛋糕

中国其实并没有母亲节的传统，对母亲的关爱淹没在了对家庭大和谐中，对母亲的要求更多的是自我牺牲和无私奉献。而在我看来，一个好的家庭是因为有了你， 所以让我成为更好的自己。不管你是我的爱人还是我的孩子，我想这是对任何一段人际情感最好的诠释了。

献上凯特的关爱母亲演讲双语全文，希望当你看到时，除了欣赏王妃的高贵皇室英音，更多能开始关爱和理解你身边的母亲。

Speech by The Duchess of Cambridge at the Best Beginnings “Out of the Blue"

Before I begin, I know you would all want to join me in sending our thoughts and prayers to all those sadly affected by yesterday's terrible attack in Westminster. We will be thinking of all the families, as we discuss the important issues we're here to talk about.

在我开始前我知道大家都想和我一起送上我们的祝福，给昨天恐怖袭击中受害的人们。我们在这里讨论的问题关乎到每一个家庭。

I would like to thank Best Beginnings for inviting me here to introduce the Out of the Blue series. This collection of films highlights how vital it is to be open about our mental health, especially in the early years of parenthood.

非常感谢Best Beginnings邀请我到这里谈及“晴天霹雳”Out of the Blue 系列片。这个问题突出显示对心理问题的开放治疗是至关重要的，特别是在为人父母初期。

Personally, becoming a mother has been such a rewarding and wonderful experience. However, at times it has also been a huge challenge—even for me who has support at home that most mothers do not.

成为母亲是一个美好而意义非凡的经历，然而有时也是一个巨大的挑战，甚至对于有家庭支持的我来说也是如此。

▲ 2016年6月11日，凯特一家参加女王90岁生日皇家军队阅兵仪式

Nothing can really prepare you for the sheer overwhelming experience of what it means to become a mother. It is full of complex emotions of joy, exhaustion, love, and worry, all mixed together. Your fundamental identity changes overnight. You go from thinking of yourself as primarily an individual, to suddenly being a mother, first and foremost.

没有什么可以比得过准备成为母亲所需要的体验。充满着复杂的情感，有喜悦、疲惫，爱以及担忧交织在一起，你的基本身份在一夜之间发生转变。从凡是先想自己的个体突然之间成为一个别人的母亲。

And yet there is no rule book, no right or wrong—you just have to make it up and do the very best you can to care for your family. For many mothers, myself included, this can, at times, lead to lack of confidence and feelings of ignorance.

何况还没有教科书，没有绝对的对和错，你能这样做，为照顾你的家人做到最好。对于很多母亲，包括我自己，有时也会缺乏信心和有被忽视的感觉。

Sadly, for some mothers, this experience can be made so much harder due to challenges with their own mental health. Two in 10 women will suffer mental health issues that can occur during pregnancy and in the year after birth, often clouding their moments of joy with a real sense of darkness and isolation.

对于一些母亲而言，这个经历还会更加困难，因为还有心理健康问题带来的挑战。10个母亲当中有两人都有心理问题，这可能在她们的孕期或者产后的一年内，因为阴郁和隔离感而抹杀她们成为母亲的快乐时光。

Many of these women also suffer in silence, overwhelmed by negative feelings, but also afraid to admit to the struggles they are facing due to the fear or shame of what others might think if they "aren't coping."

她们中很多人变得沉默寡言，被沉重的压力和负面情绪的压抑，也害怕面对挑战，由于担心别人可能会认为这是一种不够胜任成为母亲。

Some of this fear is about the pressure to be a perfect parent; pretending we're all coping perfectly and loving every minute of it. It's right to talk about motherhood as a wonderful thing, but we also need to talk about its stresses and strains.

而一些压力则来源于想成为完美的父母，以为任何事情都可以应付，并且每时每刻都很享受。无可否认当母亲是一件很美好的事情，我们还应关注到她们的压力和疲惫。

It's OK not to find it easy. Asking for help should not be seen as a sign of weakness. If any of us caught a fever during pregnancy, we would seek advice and support from a doctor. Getting help withour mental health is no different—our children need us to look after ourselves and get the support we need.

为人之母有困难是完全正常的，寻求帮助不代表是示弱的表现。如果任何人在孕期发烧，我们都会立刻找医生寻求帮助，所以由于心理问题寻求帮助也是一个道理。我们的孩子需要我们保重自己，去寻求支持和帮助。

▲ 2016年10月2日，凯特一家在加拿大参加儿童派对

Conversations are crucial for mental well-being, and they should be part of everyday family life. Talking about a problem with a friend or another trusted person can be the beginning of getting better.

沟通交流非常重要，对身心健康也很重要，并且也是我们每天家庭生活的一部分。和朋友或信得过的人谈谈这个问题，是一切变好的开始。

This week, as we look forward to Mother's Day, I would love to see everyone celebrate and value the fundamental importance that mothers play in family life. Mothers take on an overwhelming responsibility of caring for their families. Their role is vital in providing unconditional love, care, and support at home, particularly in the early years of a child's development. We therefore should do everything we can to support and value their hard work.

本周我们期待母亲节的到来，我希望能看到所有人都能庆祝和重视母亲在家庭中扮演的重要角色，母亲承担照顾家庭的重要责任，为家庭提供无条件的爱，关怀和支持，特别是在孩子成长的早期阶段。因此我们应该尽一切所能去支持和重视她们辛勤的劳动和付出。

▲ 2016年10月1日，凯特一家访问加拿大

The work of Best Beginnings is vital. By providing tools and resources to help parents establish their own confidence and their own self-awareness, Best Beginnings enables mothers and fathers to do the best they can for their families.

Best Beginnings所做的工作非常重要。他们提供工具和资源来帮助父母，重塑他们的自信心和自我价值，Best Beginnings让父母为了家庭成为更好的父母。

The Out of the Blue films you are about to see are also an amazing example to all parents, that starting conversations and asking for support is a real source of strength. They have been created with real parents, talking honestly and openly about their own experiences of parenthood.

你即将看到的The Out of the Blue电影中对于所有父母来说都是很好的榜样。和人沟通以及寻求帮助是力量的真正来源，他们与真实的父母一起完成，诚实公开地讲述自己为人父母的经历。

I am now delighted to introduce two brave parents who have contributed to the films, Jessica and John Warne. Thank you.

现在我很高兴介绍两位勇敢的父母，他们也参与了这部电影，欢迎杰西卡和约翰·沃伦。谢谢。

▲ 2016年12月25日，凯特一家前往教堂，出席圣诞节活动

（转自公众号“英国范儿”）

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