Don’t Sleep on It: Working Out When to Allow Pajama Parties

When I was growing up, sleepovers were never a topic of discussion. I suspect this was for two reasons; firstly I come from a large family with six sisters and two brothers, so every night in our house felt like the entire village and its mum had come for a sleepover anyway. Secondly, we grew up in a neighborhood bursting with kids. After school, we would easily crisscross between each other’s homes, only going back to our respective homes at a set time, for baths, dinner, and bed so this is probably why we never really had a need for sleepovers.

Advertisement

• Kids spending time outside their own house with friends can foster independence and grow meaningful friendships even deeper in the more intimate home environment.

• At sleepovers, kids may get to experience new things like a new culture or trying out new things like a meal that wouldn’t normally be cooked at home.

• Kids learn new boundaries (every household has different rules and expectations) and understand how to behave in different situations.

• In adolescent children, sleepovers can be essential in helping them prepare for wider society and for college years where they’re more likely to be living away from home.

• Sleepovers can give parents a much-needed break from the kids. Of course, it’s a different story for the parents on the receiving end but this creates an opportunity for a switch where the kid hosting could be invited for a sleepover the next time. A win-win for both sides.

• Children might wake up in the middle of the night, crying after a bad dream, or wanting the mama, papa, or a toy left at their house. Host parents may feel helpless in trying to soothe a crying child that is not their own.

• The chances of kids doing things that would be normally forbidden at home are high. This is because they may think they have free reign for the night to eat, stay on the internet or phone for hours, watch movies, or content that would normally not be approved at home. It takes a parent with the same parenting style as you to make sure these are all kept in check.

• Teens and adolescents are more likely to misuse social media when they are sleeping over at friends’ houses.

• Communication is vital. Making clear arrangements of when kids should be expected to arrive and when they should be picked up the next day will help everyone plan better. Some parents will take advantage of the free time and may decide to leave the child at the host for a bit longer than the host may want.

• Get to know your child’s friends and friends’ parents. You don’t have to become best friends, but knowing them in a way that’s more personal than just a simple “hello” every time you meet, helps give you a better feel of how they are as parents what kind of people they are.

• Your child has to know that they have the right to leave whenever they feel uncomfortable. While driving miles in the middle of the night to pick up a nervous or uncomfortable child isn’t on the ideal sleepover list,  your child should know that you can be there when they really, really need you.

• Find out about any medication, special diet, or allergies the kids you are hosting may need or have.

• Try to agree on a shut-off point for the TV and mobile phones to get them ready for bed (preferably not in the wee hours of the morning).