Gratitude Journal 2020: "We Won’t Take for Granted our Health"

For the Perez family, the year 2020 would be a perfect time to complain, but they choose not to. After a trip back to America early in the year, the Perezes found themselves among the long list of families locked out of the country after COVID-19 became a global health crisis. Fortunately, they were able to return to China, with the Perez children: Bella, 17, Jonah, 11, and Dean, 9, rejoining their friends and teachers at Western Academy of Beijing (WAB) and Beijing City International School (BCIS) respectively. Mom Candy Perez returned to her role as loving mom and wife, and husband Paul returned to the amazing Universal Beijing team. In our November issue of beijingkids, we featured Candy Perez in our indulge magazine section as we figured that after such a harrowing year, she deserved a mommy makeover. We spoke to her again to find out what this year truly meant to her family and how the Perez family are counting their blessings one day at a time.

(Beijingkids) BJK: Did your family have any shattered plans for 2020?

Candy Perez (CP): My family and I planned to travel and explore more of Asia.

BJK: What was your family’s initial reaction to the COVID-19 global pandemic?

CP: Having not been out of our country before during something so serious, I was afraid. I tried not to pass my fear onto my children but it didn’t work so well. My daughter went to the market and found tomatoes in very short supply. For some reason, that struck my “fight or flight” response. I booked flights at 2pm and we left at 6pm for the US that day. In retrospect, we should have stayed because China had and still has a much better grasp of public safety from the virus.

BJK: What were some of your greatest concerns or sources of anxiety this year?

CP: Once we left China, it was keeping my family healthy, trying to educate my children (one with additional needs), maintain my sanity because my husband was separated from my children and me for work obligations for much of the year, and then determine whether returning to China was in my family’s best interest, and it was.

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BJK: What are some of the most important lessons and takeaways you have from this year?

CP:  Do not attempt to control a situation you have LITERALLY no control over. Wear your mask, wash your hands, play with your kids, get some sunshine, and let whatever plans you had just go. Travel isn’t going anywhere, it’s just not okay now. The kids will catch up educationally. You can’t do it all, so stop putting so much pressure on yourself.

BJK: What are some things you believe you and your family will no longer take for granted after this year?

CP: That’s a loaded one, however, I have one major takeaway. Stop pretending that people are inherently good and care about others. We won’t take for granted our health, excellent healthcare, and our ability to go places at will.

BJK: How did you as a family manage the anxiety around that uncertain time?

CP: At the time, we tried to maintain the status quo/schedule for about two weeks then I just let go. We stopped trying to pretend life was normal because it wasn’t. I started giving my kids more space, less structure, and fewer regulations. My priorities for them became safety and happiness first. The rest would work itself out (Spoiler: It did).

BJK: What has surprised you the most as a family about each other, and about the city of Beijing this year?

CP: I was surprised that my sons and I managed to survive quarantine with some fond memories. I mean, I knew they were resilient but I remain impressed they endured some pretty hard situations with grit and perseverance. I was really surprised that my kids were so stoked to go back to school in person. I didn’t expect to cry with relief and gratitude when I walked back into my apartment after six months. I was not at all surprised that Beijing took a crummy situation and found a way to make it tenable in a relatively short period of time.

BJK: What are you most grateful for this year?

CP: I am most grateful that we are safe, my kids are happy and my husband is employed. I am particularly grateful that the situations presented this year have shown me which people belong in my life by their actions and not just words.

BJK: Is there anything you will do differently in the year 2021 as a family?

CP: I think we will continue to focus less on “stuff” and more on the bigger picture of experiences and relationships. 2021 will bring new chapters for our family including a transition out of China and our first child going off to college.

BJK: If you had to do 2020 all over again, what would you do the same, what would you change and what lessons do you feel you will pay more attention to as a family?

CP: If I had to do it again, I would not have left China. I would have opened another bottle of wine and tried to release any fear I had about remaining in my safe, warm, socially distanced apartment. That decision alone would have significantly decreased the difficulty level of 2020 for us. I would have stopped trying to make the extraordinary circumstances “normal” sooner. I would have stopped trying to pretend I was fine and this was all fine when I honestly felt like the world was on fire. I will pay more attention to what makes my kids happy, comfortable, and calm so that THEY don’t feel like our family is on fire, even though the world is.

BJK: Do you have a holiday message for other families in Beijing?

CP: Enjoy this beautiful season with an extra sense of gratitude, comfort, and hope!

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Photos: Unsplash, Candy Perez