Adapting Western Holidays to Fit Our Beijing Lifestyle

The year was 1995 and my family had just moved from China to California. We were determined to learn the American culture, so when the end of the year rolled around it meant time to decorate and buy all the stuff we’ve only seen in holiday movies. We got the tree even though the idea of cutting down a perfectly good tree just to bring it indoors to wilt didn’t make sense. In China, our indoor trees were potted and alive. A wreath on the door also seemed odd. Funerals in China always have wreaths and my seven-year-old brain associated them with death, but our neighbor explained that in American they did not mean there was a death in the family, so we got over that too. We drank the holiday drink with the unappealing name that turned out to be delicious — eggnog, who would have thought drinking raw eggs would be good? And we ate something delightful called stuffing that turned out to be bread that was cooked inside a turkey’s rear end. Seriously, if you didn’t grow up with these traditional foods, they’re absurd for a first-timer.

When the second year rolled around, my mom had had it with sticking to traditions. The ceremonial Christmas tree turned into “just put lights on the potted plants” and drinking eggnog turned into “get cranberry juice, but be sure to water it down because you don’t need to drink that much sugar.” We had tried the American holiday traditions, and now it was time to adapt them to fit our lifestyle.

Fast forward a little over a decade later, to life in Beijing.

Every year when the holiday season rolls around I look on social media, see the over-the-top festivities of my friends, and can’t help but feel a bit down at my own lack of Christmas cheer.

But you can’t just stroll to any old mall parking lot and pick up a tree here. So how do we keep the holiday spirit alive, especially this year when the pandemic has added even bigger hurdles for us?

Like with schools, holiday concerts, and gatherings, this holiday season is all about infusing virtual attendance into our everyday habits. “Last year we went back to the US in late December to celebrate the holidays, which for us is both Hanukah and Christmas, and to spend time with our family on the West coast. We usually split our years between the West coast and the East. This year, because of COVID-19 we cannot travel, so it was just time spent on Skype and Zoom with different family members,” Mical G and Anna M, parents to two-year-old Oliver, tell beijingkids.

For many families, while we can still stick to the holiday traditions we have back in our home countries, we need to amend them just a tad for our lives here in Beijing. Those whose holiday traditions revolve around cooking together as a family might find themselves in search of a new hobby since many of us have smaller kitchens than we’re used to back home and not as many extended family near us. As expat mom Kelly O’Hara tells us, “We’ve only had two Christmases here. Last Christmas I took the kids back to see my family, so I feel we don’t have a trend yet. But our first Christmas here was also the first time we ordered in a Christmas lunch of turkey rather than cooking or having a cold lunch of seafood and ham (it’s usually sweltering hot in Australia at this time of the year). It was a novelty and treat not to cook and have minimal cleanup.”

But what is the holiday season really about anyway? Tradition? Food? Presents!?

Yes, yes, and yes. But the most important thing is the intangible — turning moments with those you love into treasured memories that’ll last a lifetime. “My husband and I were never really into the traditional Christmas. We used to indulge in a full day’s viewing of Lord of the Rings until we had kids. We got more into the traditional celebrations once our kids got older, but being in Beijing has made it more about our small family using the time to collect ourselves, take a breath together to evaluate how life is going, and where we want to go. We spend quality time with each other and our friends, without the pressure to visit relatives or indulge in the commercial side of the holiday, and we keep the gift-giving to a minimum. We always say that our home is wherever the four of us are together, and that can be anywhere,” says Cindy Marie Jenkins.

Gone are the days in the ’90s when uniformity was cool. As we usher in 2021, it’s all about creating experiences that are unique. So if traditions don’t need to be so strict and stiff, and the commercial side of the holiday season is merely a bonus, then perhaps our Beijing adaptation of the holiday season is exactly what we need. That said, happy holidays and celebrate this time of the year the way you like. Like they say, you do you!