I Don’t Want to Forget 2020, I Want to Learn From It

“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” – Bill Gates

This is usually the week when people review any goals they set for 2020, reflect on what they learned, and look to the future. But since this is 2020, I say forget that. Throw your 2020 goals out the window. Instead of reviewing my optimistic outlook for The Year That Wasn’t and getting depressed over how things changed in an instant, I’d rather focus on the challenges my family was able to survive, and how much stronger we are as a unit, and how much more we are part of our communities now.

We like to think that a new year means the old one is forgotten, cast aside like those yoga mats that sat gathering dust in the corner, bought in the whimsy that their nice decorative pattern will be the boost we needed to move more. Out with the old, in with the new. But this year feels different. The trials we all walked through cannot be dismissed with a mere clutter clearing and Roundabout pickup. Months later, every teacher I meet tells their “war story” of how they returned after being stranded overseas during the Chinese New Year, or every family compares the quarantine in Beijing with hotel quarantine outside of the city until enough tests proved we could reunite with our apartments and friends here.

I may want to let go of those people who trafficked in nothing but rumors and fear-mongering without evidence, but I will never forget the strangers who reached out with advice on kids in quarantine, or parents who snuck a smile at each other before e-learning started, or those teachers learning entirely new platforms and methods while trying to cater to multiple time zones and learning through a screen. I certainly won’t forget the school counselors who answered my Seesaw pleas for help in navigating young children through it all, and who sent such kindness and compassion even as they were struggling with their own families.

I don’t want to forget how quickly companies had to move to remote working, and in turn, the good bosses also learning valuable lessons in grace for those of us with families or trying to move through quarantine solo. All of a sudden, we weren’t bringing work home, but work and home mingled in a not always elegant fashion. Although I wasn’t at beijingkids at that time, stories of how the whole True Run Media team banded together to not only help one another through this but also their neighbors via the Safe & Sane groups, are now legend.

I don’t want to forget my friend who shipped new masks from China to my sister-in-law, a hospice worker in Seattle Washington who’d been using the same face mask for weeks because there were none available. Nor should we forget the early frontline hospital workers, those still saving lives, and others who continue to give their lives so that we all might prosper.

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I’ll never forget how a simple question like “how are you” turned into the more meaningful “how are you doing” or “how are the kids handling quarantine” as well as more commonly being asked, “how are you coping”? I certainly won’t forget hearing when my friend in the states lost his father to COVID-19, and how every one of my own family’s text and video chats means even more now.

I won’t forget how short my temper was with my kids some days, and how they tickled or giggled me back to a smile. I can’t forget how much more honest my husband and I had to talk in order to make the hardest decisions of our lives, knowing how they would affect our children as well. I may never want to go through those particular situations again, but we do have a “crisis shorthand” in our house now, as well as much stronger lines of conversations open with our kids and their emotions.

Who would want to forget the looks of joy in my kids as we were finally reunited with the incredible support staff in our apartment community, and their thrill at finally being back home in Beijing, a place where they could attend summer camp and look forward to in-person school, no matter how socially distanced. No mask can contain the smiles at returning to outings in favorite playgrounds or visits to our favorite restaurants.

Many milestones may be a different experience now, but the bonds our families and friends endured last year will create even stronger bridges to this new cycle around the sun, carrying us safely to 2021. We don’t need to forget or cast off last year; these last two weeks taught us that. Now that we know more about everything than we did last year, we can shift back to a caution mode without fear. We can explain what’s happening to our kids in deeper terms than “The Big Germ” (how we refer to COVID-19) and “the virus”.

If we do need to take harsher measures to keep these new cases tampered down, we will be ready and able to handle it. Many in our city already changed their New Year’s plans to a smaller and quieter celebration, schools are in daily communications with their students, and we have some idea of the possibilities if it gets worse before it gets better.

By working together that way, we can be optimistic that 2021 will bring many better memories than worse, thanks to the lessons of 2020. We now know how every decision an individual makes can affect their greater community.

I wish to hold last year close, It’s part of us now, the losses and strong community bonds will hold our hands through whatever the next year, or two, or ten, brings.

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Photos: Cindy Marie Jenkins, Pexels