How to Talk to Your Boss About Working From Home With Kids

Last year at this time, we were a little blindsided by the concept of not just e-learning, but also many parents and caregivers working from home while schooling their kids. Even though I’ve worked from home with kids since they were born, it was a difficult transition to also merge something as important as their education into the mix.

I already outlined some ideas to create good spaces for both learning and working from home, but how do you talk to your boss about it? This myth exists that people won’t work as much or as well if they aren’t sitting in an office and under supervision. It’s a hard mindset to talk yourself or your colleagues out of. Almost no matter where you are from in the world, we’re taught that work happens in an office, or a designated place.

The other side of this myth is that If someone works from home, they’re in their pajamas all day and lazily taking calls or answering emails. Some days are like that, very few days – but most days revolve around your calendar and other people’s schedules. If you aren’t used to working from home and are thrust (back) into it, it may feel too unstructured for your tastes, too.

So how can you communicate with co-workers and your boss to ensure that expectations are set in a realistic manner while not sacrificing quality or standards? And also not feel like the worst parent ever for shushing them all the time?

My work history lends itself well to working a flexible schedule, since it’s deadline-oriented and not necessarily tied to definitive times of the day. Not every job works like that, however, and you need to have strong control of your time to understand how to make it work. Here are some tips for communicating with your boss and colleagues if you do need to work with your kids at home for any reason in the near future.

Over Communicate

The major downside to working from home is that you can’t communicate as well non verbally as you can in person. And you can’t see how well people are processing what you’re saying. So even if an email is normally enough notice for a quick meeting, maybe send a WeChat reminder as well.

Don’t Take Things Personally

Along with the above, if we return to the everyone at home lifestyle, then everyone will be stressed and going through the same issues that you are. So a little snippiness in your boss’s voice may be directed more towards their teenager than you, and an exasperated sigh could be about their toddler regressing in potty training and not your latest report. Most people are completely different at work than they are at home, and it’s hard to reconcile the two. So give everyone a little break, including yourself.

Be Clear About Time Limitations

When I work with my kids, I plan for every task to take 2-3 times as long as it “should.” If e-learning is in the mix, I tend to wake up at the same time as a normal day, work 6-8am, get them breakfast before starting school, and can’t really have a clear head for anything else until around 10am at the earliest. Rather than try to squeeze a 9.30am meeting in there, I’d simply ask if we can push it to 10.15am, giving me a buffer window as well. If you are clear about why certain times are needed and ask politely but clearly, many times it isn’t a problem to switch a start time. And if it is and you have a partner, they need to adjust their schedule when possible.

Prioritize a Communications Channel

Sometimes I love WeChat, but too often tasks get lost amidst the memes and important communications fall away. If you need to filter communications with your boss so you don’t lose anything, sticky them to the top of your WeChat or request that the colleague who sends you twenty WeChats a day just collect it all into a daily email, twice a day if absolutely necessary.

Don’t Apologize More Often Than Normal

If you’re at your desk and something hasn’t been finished yet, your boss can see that you’ve been working. Just because they can’t see your laptop’s activity or hear your typing doesn’t mean they need to know all the different reasons why something hasn’t gotten finished yet. Our tendency when working from home can sometimes be to over apologize in order to show we are aware of what we aren’t getting done, but if you bring too much attention to it, then your boss might start to wonder why you’re apologizing so much. And then you’re in trouble.

When You’re Unavailable, Don’t Try to Work

Let me tell you something that most “how to” lists won’t: multitasking is a myth. Project management is one thing, trying to do too much at once is something people made up in order to force productivity. So If you’re coaching your preschooler through storytime, place your phone face down. If you’re listening to their Social Studies class so you understand the homework later, put your laptop screen to sleep. Most bosses don’t expect an answer immediately or you’re fired, so those twenty minutes aren’t a make or break for your job.

If There’s Conflict or Questions About Your Productivity, Face it Head-on

Don’t wait for issues to bubble over before you address them. Again, we’re at the disadvantage of no body language, even with video chats, so there’s no harm in checking in more often. Not sure if you’re on track: Send a list of priorities at the beginning of the day so you don’t get to the end and your boss asks, “Where is this?” Make sure if only one thing gets done in a day, it’s what your team needs the most.

No one wants to return to last winter, and we’d most likely be in it for a shorter time this year. But we must communicate openly with the team and understand that even if we aren’t doing a 8am-5pm schedule, we all still want the work to be its best.