Explaining Qingming Festival Without Scaring the Kids

This weekend is Qingming Festival. For most people, it is nothing more than a long weekend, but for many locals, this weekend is a time to pay respects to their departed loved ones. Qingming Festival or Tomb Sweeping Festival is a day traditionally commemorated by people visiting and tidying their family graves, kind of like a spring cleaning for the dead. It’s a time to pay respects and send love and prayers to their deceased loved ones. Many people will choose to visit the cemetery, but those unable to physically go can do it by burning paper. Last year’s Covid-19 restrictions have given birth to a new business model – virtual tomb-sweeping where you can now pay staff at the cemetery to clean your ancestor’s graves, place offerings, and recite prayers for you.

When I was about six years old one of my cousins told me that the Qingming Festival is believed to be a time when the Hell Gates are open and spirits and wander freely into our world. And for years after that, I would always sleep with the lights on and refuse to go outside at night during Qingming Festival.

So how do you explain this holiday to your kids without scaring them for years to come?

Turn it into a teaching moment and explain that each culture has its own beliefs. If they go out after sundown this weekend they’ll most likely see people burning paper at intersections (although many cities have officially discouraged the practice). No matter how fluent your Chinese is, it’s definitely not the right time to ask for a cultural lesson. So here’s our quick explanation.

The paper being burned this weekend is not your average A4 notebook paper. it’s called burn paper 烧纸 (shāozhǐ), the paper used specifically to honor the dead. The traditional ones will have money printed on them, but nowadays you can find really creative burn paper shaped like houses, cars, clothes, and even the latest tech gadgets.

After the incense burns out, it’s time to leave. Douse water on the pile of ashes to make sure you’re not leaving a fire hazard behind, but don’t clean up the ashes or the offering fruits. While littering is something frowned upon, this weekend there will be plenty of street cleaners on the lookout for them at intersections.

It took me a while to get over my fear of the Qingming Festival but had it been explained to me better at age six, I wouldn’t have associated the holiday with zombies and ghosts. Rather, I would have seen it for what it actually is, a wholesome holiday that pays respects and remember our dearly departed loved ones.

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