The Expat Parent: How to Clutter Clear When You’re Moving Away

We’re about to offer our readers a whole slew of updated information on relocating to and from Beijing, so thought we could start with an area of our lives that always causes stress: preparing to pack.

My family is moving soon, and even though we’re in the fortunate position of the company handling our relocation, the idea of packing is still stressful. What to take with us on the plane and what can we wait 4-10 weeks to receive — understanding that Covid-19 is still delaying nearly all shipments? What have the kids outgrown since we’ve moved here? Should I keep my winter clothes on the off chance we ever need them again or just start over?

Here are just a few of my tricks, having now moved cross country twice in my adult life and internationally twice.

Start Clutter Clearing at Least Three Months in Advance

This is actually an emotional process, to review all your belongings and evaluate their usefulness or meaning in your life. It’s much better to do it one area of your space at a time, rather than think you can just do a full haul clearance while you’re also trying to pack. Start with the areas of less emotional attachment, like cables, cords, and electronics. Use the Rule of Five explained below, and just start.

Rule of Five

My sister needs this reminder a lot. Can’t determine how many stuffies to keep? How many spare charging cords, or empty notebooks? Use the rule of five. Only keep five of everything. If you have more than five, and it’s useful, that’s different. Or if it’s your kids’ collection of LEGO bricks and you have seven bins, well, Godspeed if you’re able to cut these down. But for most things in life, you do not need more than five of any one item.

Move the Cleared Items Out as Soon as Possible

Once you decide to get rid of something, get rid of it completely. I will sometimes call Roundabout to make a collection date before I clear things so that I have a deadline. The worst thing that can happen is you remove a toy they barely touched and put it into a closet, only to find your children dug it out one day when they were bored and now are playing with it again. Arggggggh!

Eat Your Way Through Your Pantry

At least three months before the move, you should also start eating your way through your pantry and freezer. Toss anything that’s expired. Remove items you are never going to use or open take a photo and see who wants those spices you just knew you’d start baking with but never touched. Stack pantry items all together so you understand that you actually have three unopened salsas and don’t need to buy anymore but should probably eat these first. Don’t leave this until the last minute or you’ll waste a lot of food.

Keep a “Don’t Care Bin”

Especially when travelling with children, you need a “don’t care” bin. These are Happy Meal toys, party favor crap, plastic shite you bribed them to stay quiet with one day but would rather not actually keep, etc. These are great for airplane and relocation trips when you don’t care if they break, don’t care if they get lost, you and your kids just don’t care.

Remove the Clothes That Don’t Fit

This one obviously assumes you have the money to replace them, but after two years in Beijing, a lot of my clothes shrunk in the wash. I can handle that tight waistline if I’m just standing at an event all day, but not on a regular basis. Be deliberate and ruthless: remove all items from your closet that simply don’t fit you anything. Take a photo and post it in your “buy nothing” sustainable group, then ship it off to the first person who says “yay”. This process includes the shoes that literally pain you to wear.

Gift Some Artwork

I adore all my kids’ artwork, I really do, but do I love it enough to unpack it in a few months? For some of their less sentimental pieces, I have them write a note on the back to give to their friends as a goodbye gift, along with a photo of them together. I always run these decisions by the kids themselves, of course, because I also don’t want them to ask me months later “Hey, where is that snowman I made at art class?”

Don’t Be Andy’s Mom

You know the mom from the first three Toy Story movies? She picks up the wrong bag for donation and sets into motion the entire escapade of saving all our favorite talking toys from the evil mafia at Sunnydale Day Care?

Don’t be Andy’s Mom. Sure, it was a mistake, but she and Andy could have had a reasonable discussion on which toys to keep and which toys to donate and saved everyone a whole lot of trouble and two hours of escapades. Of course, then we wouldn’t have a movie, but….

I know it feels like it would easier to just remove some items while they’re not looking, and I do totally do that sometimes. But when it comes to choosing their LEGO sets or favorite blankets or Funko toys, it’s best to discuss it with each child in advance. Because here’s the thing. I’d lightly discussed donating some toys with them last summer but they weren’t really interested. Then out of the blue, my son woke up one day after learning about children who didn’t have a lot of LEGO bricks and said he wanted to choose some to donate. We jumped on it and removed a whole bin from our home.

Remove all items from their shelves, containers, etc, then sort them in a neutral spot.

I find this very helpful with books especially. Take everything out of their spot and sort them into three piles: donate/trash, keep, and not sure. Keep the “not sure” items out and available, and if you don’t reach for them in the next month, out they go!

Everyone is going through such emotions during a move, don’t exacerbate them by trying to both get rid of items and also pack everything at once. Start as soon as you can, take it nice and slowly, and involve the whole family!

Images: Canva