| E is for Elif Shafak |
编 者 按：
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英文 “Turquoise” （绿松石）一词源于法文，本意指“土耳其"。历史上这种古波斯（今伊朗）地区盛产的玉石最初由土耳其进口到欧洲，因此绿松石也被称为土耳其玉，土耳其石或突厥石。如今看，这一材质无形中成为贯通东西文化交流的凭证，而土耳其也因此物而得国名。
今期选编的内容，来自土耳其裔英国女作家Elif Shafak（艾丽芙·沙法克）的随笔。这位被誉为“当代土耳其及世界文坛最鲜明的声音”，曾在TED演讲中如此描述促成自己写作的缘起：“我八岁开始写小说。 一天，我的母亲带着本绿松石色的记事薄回家， 问我有没有兴趣写日记……”是次演讲，沙法克一如既往地身着黑色套装，颈项处点缀着一颗泛着孔雀蓝光泽的绿松石珠坠。
沙法克作为当今世界文坛少有的、可用英土双语写作，并很好的将东西叙事传统相结合的女性作家，她的创作对象涉及女性、少数族裔、移民及亚文化群等，且热衷黑色幽默的运用。归属感、身份感、性别感、心理隔阂、日常生活、多元文化语境中的文学，雕塑了她的创作重心。至于她的母国——土耳其，正如我们所知，因为“一直在传统与现代中不断地跌进与轮回”，几乎和地球上很多地区一样，都在经历夹杂在传统与现代、西方与东方之间无法规避的文化彷徨与身份焦虑。沙法克的文字让我们领略，一个看似微不足道的穿戴问题，折射的是思考如何在焦虑彷徨中，更有尊严自处的艺术。
她的穿戴观，莫不折射其文学观。除了以下译文，她也曾在各类访谈中数度表示“我大部分时间都穿黑色，这个时候银戒便凸显了细节的必要；我的衣装往往简单。但我喜爱首饰，尤其是戒指。它们必须是银质的，最好镶嵌了有着莹蓝色泽的绿松石；这其实是我身着色彩的方式。我喜欢每个人都有与众不同的细节——美就在于细节。我看着它们，想象着银匠的能量和创造力——如此小幅的画布上有着极丰富的存在。某种程度，这有点类似我的工作：讲故事的人往往就是用细节来表述一个更大的故事。”
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Why You’ll Never Catch Me in Colorful Clothing
为 何 你 永 远 捕 捉 不 到 一 个 身 着 多 彩 衣 衫 的 我Of all the colors in the universe, there are two that I am particularly fond of: purple and black. The former is for writing. All my fountain pens have purple ink. The latter is for wearing. I wear black a lot-like, on-all-occasions-without-fail kind of a lot. I had to admit to myself just how often I wore it when my children peeked into my wardrobe the other day and started describing the items inside: “A black jacket, a black skirt, a black top, another black jacket...”
宇宙中的所有颜色，有两种是我尤为心仪的: 紫色和黑色。前者用于写作。我所用的钢笔都内注紫色的墨水。后者为了装扮。我常穿黑色，任何场合都穿黑色。我得承认，当我的孩子们几天前偷瞄我的衣橱，并开始细数里面的东西: “黑夹克，黑裙子，黑上衣，还有...一件黑夹克……”Whenever I run into a woman sporting multihued garments and accessories, carrying her choice of style with perfect ease, I smile in admiration. But no amount of respect is enough for me to follow her lead. Maybe for a day or two, I try. I tell myself that enough is enough and I will brighten up my wardrobe. “It is time for me to have an outfit to match every tone in the color spectrum,” I declare. The craziness that gets hold of me, though powerful while it lasts, dissolves. Whether I am giving a talk at a literary festival or picking up my kids from basketball, I wear black.
每当我遇见一个穿着多彩服饰，轻松自如享受其自选风格的女人，我都会报以钦佩地微笑。但再多的尊重也不足以让我听从她的指挥。也许能坚持一两天，我尽力了。我告诉自己够了，我要点亮我的衣柜。我宣布: “是时候买一套与光谱中所有颜色相匹配的衣服。” 我抵御着我的疯狂，虽然它持续的时候往往很强大，但很快也会消失。因此，无论是在文学节发表演说，还是去篮球场接孩子，我依旧穿黑色。
I am a nomad—intellectually, spiritually, and physically. Ever since my childhood, I have moved from one city to another: Strasbourg, Ankara, Madrid, Amman, Cologne, Istanbul, Boston, Ann Arbor, Tucson. For the last eight years, I have been commuting between London and Istanbul. One day, at the Istanbul Atatürk Airport, a reader recognized me and asked if we could take a selfie. When we stood side by side, the contrast was startling: She was all vivid colors, and I the opposite. Smiling, she said, “You don’t write gothic novels, but you dress like a gothic writer!”我是一个智性，精神以及身体上的游民。从孩提时代起，我就从一个城市搬到另一个城市:斯特拉斯堡、安卡拉、马德里、安曼、科隆、伊斯坦布尔、波士顿、安娜堡、图森。过去八年来，我一直往返于伦敦和伊斯坦布尔之间。有一天，在伊斯坦布尔的阿塔图尔机场，一位读者认出了我，问我能不能和她自拍一张。于是我们并排站着，形成了惊人的对比: 她浑身色彩鲜艳，而我恰恰相反。她笑着说: “你不写哥特式小说，但你穿得却像个哥特式作家!”
Here is a memory: I was a 22-year-old aspiring writer when I decided to leave everything behind and move on my own from Ankara, Turkey’s capital, to Istanbul, Turkey’s craziest and wildest city. My first novel had been published to modest acclaim, and I had just signed a contract for a second book. The same week, I was invited to give a talk at a major book fair. I woke up that morning feeling slightly nervous and decided that lavender was the color of the day, thinking it would go well with my long, permed hair, which I’d just dyed the brightest shade of ginger. Donning a billowing, pearly purple skirt and lavender top, I showed up on time—only to stop in my tracks and feel absolutely petrified as soon as I entered the conference room.以下是段回忆: 当我决定抛开一切，独自一人从土耳其首都安卡拉搬到土耳其最疯颠、狂野的城市伊斯坦布尔时，我是个年仅22岁充满抱负的写作者。我的第一部小说出版后受到了适度的好评，我也刚刚签了第二本书的合同。同一周，我被邀请在一个大型书展上演讲。那天早晨醒来，我有点紧张，觉得淡紫色是当天的颜色，因为它将会很配我刚染的、鲜亮的姜黄色的长发。我于是穿了件飘逸的珍珠紫色裙和淡紫色上衣准时出现——但一走进会议室，我马上停住了脚步，因为完全被吓呆了。
左图：艾丽芙最受欢迎的英文小说：《建筑师的学徒》封面
封面插图描绘了土耳其著名地标：蓝色清真寺/ Blue Mosque
小说内容叙述一个小人物历经磨难终成宫廷大建筑师弟子的故事
而历史上真实存在的建筑师：”锡南”是小说中“宫廷大建筑师”的原型
右图：传说这幅著名的以孔雀蓝色调为主的土耳其古壁画描绘了
手拿建筑比例尺的大建筑师“锡南”（左下）正督导他的一众弟子而他的弟子也确是正史记载中“土耳其蓝色清真寺”的建造者
The male writers had taken care with their appearance (matching shoes and belts, gold and silver rings, necklaces), but the female writers were completely devoid of color. They wore no accessories and no makeup. The panel went well; the discussion was lively. When it was over, one of the older female novelists murmured in an icy voice: “A little advice, darling. You speak eloquently. But if you want to be taken seriously, you have to look more serious.”男作家都很注重外表(精心搭配的鞋子和腰带、金银戒指、项饰)，而女作家则完全没有色彩。她们不戴配饰，也不化妆。演讲进行得很顺利；小组讨论也很热烈。演讲结束后，一位年长的女小说家冷冰冰地向我耳语: “亲爱的，给你点忠告。你的演说很有说服力。但如果你想被人庄重以待，你必须看起来更严肃。”The experience was repeated on numerous occasions. Whenever I was in the company of the Turkish literary establishment, trying to understand their ways, I heard that nagging voice at the back of my mind telling me I was out of place. I had thought Turkey’s cultural circles would be more egalitarian. I was wrong. I understood that in this part of the world, a male novelist was primarily a novelist; no one cared about his gender. But a woman novelist was a woman first, and then a writer. I started noticing how many female scholars, journalists, writers, intellectuals, and politicians were trying to cope with this “glass wall” by systematically defeminizing themselves. It was their strategy to survive patriarchy and sexism. Then it became mine.此类经历在众多场合屡屡重现。每当我和土耳其文学团体在一起，试图理解他们的生活方式时，总能听见内心深处有个声音在不断告诫，你不适合这个地方。我原以为土耳其的文化圈会更平等。我错了。我明白，在世界的这个地方，男性小说家才是最重要的; 因为没人在意他们的性别。但是女小说家首先是个女人，然后才是作家。我开始注意到，有许多女学者、女记者、女作家、女知识分子和女政治人物试图通过系统地去女性化，来应对这堵“玻璃幕墙”。这是她们在父权制和性别歧视环境中换取生存的策略。然后，它变成了我的。Slowly, I changed my style. I asked the hairdresser to get rid of the red in my hair. I discarded the blues and the greens and the oranges in my wardrobe. Then came black rings, black necklaces, and black jeans. I was not a peacock. I would be a crow. Black provided me with a kind of armor, less for protection than demarcation; it drew a border between my inner world and the outside world. The only thing that remained untouched was my fiction. Storyland had its own colors. It could never be reduced to one shade.慢慢地，我改变了我的风格。我请理发师去掉我头发上的红色。我也将衣柜里的蓝色、绿色、橙色通通扔掉。然后迎来黑戒指、黑项链和黑牛仔裤。我不是孔雀。我愿意做乌鸦。黑色给了我一种盔甲，与其说是保护，不如说是划界; 它划定了我的内心世界和外部世界之间的界限。唯一保持不变的是我的小说。故事世界自有它的色彩。它永远不可能被减缩为一块黑色的阴影。
Here is another memory: I was born in Strasbourg, France, to Turkish parents. My father was completing his PhD in philosophy. My mother dropped out of university just before I came along, assuming that love and family were all she needed. Ours was a flat abuzz with idealist, liberal students of all nationalities. My parents wanted to save the world, but their marriage failed and they went their separate ways.接下来是另一段记忆: 我出生在法国的斯特拉斯堡，父母是土耳其人。我父亲当时正在攻读哲学博士学位。我母亲在我出生之前就已从大学退学，她认为爱和家庭是她所需的一切。我们家的公寓里常挤满了来自各个国家的理想主义者和自由派学生。我的父母本想拯救世界，但他们的婚姻最终失败，只能分道扬镳。Mum and I returned to Ankara, taking refuge with my grandma in a conservative Muslim neighborhood. There were eyes watching our every move from behind lace curtains, judging. A young divorcée was regarded as a threat to the community. But Grandma intervened: “My daughter should go back to university. She should have a job.” I was raised by Grandma, whom I called anne (mother), for a long time. My own mother, I called abla (big sister).我和妈妈回到安卡拉，和外婆一起避难于一个保守的穆斯林社区。总有许多只眼睛在蕾丝窗帘的背后注视着、点评着我们的一举一动。一个年轻的离婚者被认为是对社会的威胁。但外婆会坚持说: “我的女儿应该回到大学。她应该有份工作。”我是由外婆抚养长大的，很长时间里，我管她叫安妮(母亲)，而我的亲生母亲，我则叫她阿布拉(姐姐）。I was a lonely child, an introvert. Many afternoons I climbed our cherry tree with a new novel. I would read and eat cherries and spit the pits left and right, pretending I could reach the bleak brown and gray houses in the distance. I dreamed of bringing a shade of cherry red into their lives.我从小是个內向的孩子，一个孤独的人。许多个下午，我爱带着一本新小说爬上我家的樱桃树。我一边读书，一边吃樱桃，把樱桃核吐的到处都是，假装我能吐到那些遥远的、凄凉的棕灰色的房子。我梦想着为住在那里人的生活，抹上樱桃红般的色彩。In the meantime, Mum threw herself into her studies. Sexual harassment was rife on the streets. She would carry large safety pins in her handbags to poke molesters on buses. I remember how “modestly” she dressed—skirts that reached her ankles, thick coats, absolutely no makeup. Eventually she became a diplomat. In the male-dominated world of foreign affairs, too, she continued wearing “nonrevealing” clothes. She wanted to look as strong as possible.与此同时，妈妈全身心地投入到她的学习中。街上性骚扰很普遍。她会在手提包里备上些大别针（safety pin / 安全别针），用来戳公车上的性骚扰者。我记得她会穿“得体”的裙子，长到脚踝，厚厚的外套，完全不化妆。最终她成为了名外交官。在男性主导的外交事务领域，她也继续身穿“并不暴露”的衣衫。她想让自己看起来尽可能有力量、有胆识。
This summer, when I retreated to a little town in Cornwall, England, to start my new novel, I decided to pack just one dress. I had a plan. Since a breezy fishing town had no reason to specialize in black garments, I would have to purchase a few variegated items. My plan worked—for a day. The next, I was in a cab heading to the nearest mall for black clothes.今年夏天，当我退隐到英国康沃尔的一个小镇，开始构思我的新小说时，我只带了一件衣服。我有个计划。由于一个惬意的渔港小镇不可能专门生产黑色服装，那么，我定将不得不选购些色彩斑斓的物品。我的计划奏效了——仅一天。随后，我跳上出租车去最近的购物中心寻觅黑色衣物。
I am comfortable in black, but I am not comfortable with being too comfortable—hence the impulse to always question myself. I realize, albeit reluctantly, that my resistance to bright colors might be rooted in negative personal experiences, each of which has left a subtle but stubborn impact. Oh, I know what commercials will tell me. I know the slogan of our times: “Just be yourself! Forget the rest!” But are not memories and experiences, and the way we responded to them, also part of what constitutes “the self”?
我穿黑色很舒服，但太舒服也就不舒服了——因为总有向自己发问的冲动。我意识到，尽管很不情愿，但我对鲜艳色彩的抗拒可能源于我的负面的个人经历，这些经历都留下了微妙而顽固的影响。哦，我明白广告会告诉我什么。也了解我们这个时代的口号:“做你自己! 忘记其他!” 但是记忆和经历，以及我们对它们的反应，不正是构成“自我”的一部分吗?After so many trials and errors, I have accepted that I actually love wearing black. The color that turned into an entrenched habit in response to a patriarchal world has, over time, become a faithful friend. I do not have to change, so long as it makes me happy and remains a personal choice. Since I am not inclined to wear colors but like to have them around, I’ve found another solution: I keep my accessories flashy—turquoise rings, magenta bracelets, sunglow scarves. The darker my clothes, the crazier my accessories.经过如此多的试错，我已经接受了实际上我爱穿黑色。在父权制的世界里，颜色变成了一种根深蒂固的习惯，随着时间的推移，它也变成了某种忠实的朋友。我不需要改变，只要它让我开心并且是我个人的选择。虽然我不爱穿颜色鲜艳的衣服，但喜爱让色彩在我身边，所以我找到了另一个解决办法: 让我的配饰熠熠生辉——绿松石蓝的戒指、品红色的手镯、霞光色的围巾。我的衣着越深沉，我的配饰越疯狂。![]()
配搭闪动着 “绿松石（或土耳其玉）光泽 ” 的饰物![]()
艾丽芙曾在2012年7月7日的个人推特上表示
对即将在苏富比英国文学拍卖专场中的一件拍品：古董绿松石戒
表示出极大的收藏兴趣。这枚戒指的原属者是
生活于18世纪的英国著名女作家简·奥斯丁/Jane Austen
据闻，简·奥斯丁也特别钟爱绿松石首饰
关于这一点，在有关她的传记文学及影视作品中屡被提及。
从古波斯到古欧洲，东西文化间的交流，因一种石材，
焕发穿越时空的精神交感
There are many seasons in a woman’s life. Seasons of black, seasons of colors. None is eternal. Life is a journey. It is also hybridity—a mixture of contrasts. As the poet Hafez wrote,
“ You carry all the ingredients / To turn your existence into joy , 女人的一生会经历众多的季节。黑色的季节，多彩的季节。但无一是永恒的。生活是一场旅程，也是一种杂糅——彼此相峙混合。正如诗人哈菲兹(译注：即Hafez，波斯著名诗人，被称为“诗人中的诗人”，生平：约1315年－约1390年) 所述，
原载：https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/little-black-everything补充说明：理同上期，基于对多元文化传播的促进考量，「三声」特精选制作——“女作家的穿戴观”板块，以飨读者。因此公号的“原创声明”，仅限中译文的著作权。现将原本与译本无偿分享于此，不涉及任何商业操作，但求有助知识传播、文化交流与资料参考。如对我们的译本有任何异议，欢迎来函指正。若有意引用我们的译文，望注明出处（标注原文链接与其他相关信息）。全文转载需后台接洽，感谢留意！
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