My name is Joshua Walters.
我叫约书亚·沃尔特斯。
I'm a performer.
我是名表演者。
But as far as being a performer, I'm also diagnosed bipolar.
但远在我成为表演者之前，我也被诊断为双向人格障碍症患者。
I reframe that as a positive
我把这病症重塑为一个积极方面，
because the crazier I get onstage, the more entertaining I become.
因为我在台上越疯狂，我变得更加娱乐化。
When I was 16 in San Francisco,
在旧金山当我16岁时，
I had my breakthrough manic episode in which I thought I was Jesus Christ.
我的突破躁狂症发作，那时我想我是耶稣基督。
Maybe you thought that was scary,
或许你想到那是很可怕，
but actually there's no amount of drugs you can take
但实际上你不用吃任何药丸
that can get you as high as if you think you're Jesus Christ.
你就可以爽得赛似神仙，好似你想到你就是耶稣基督。
I was sent to a place, a psych ward,
我被送到一个地方，精神病院，
and in the psych ward, everyone is doing their own one-man show.
在精神病院，每个人都在演着他们自己的独角戏。
There's no audience like this to justify their rehearsal time.
没有像这样的观众来证明他们的排练效果。
They're just practicing.
他们只是自己排练。
One day they'll get here.
假若有一天他们会站在这儿。
Now when I got out, I was diagnosed and I was given medications by a psychiatrist.
当我出来时，我被诊断治疗，我从精神病专家那儿得到一些药物。
"Okay, Josh, why don't we give you some -- why don't we give you some Zyprexa.
“好吧，乔什，我们为什么不给你开些--我们为什么不给你开些再普乐。
Okay? Mmhmm?
好吧？嗯？
At least that's what it says on my pen."
至少这就是我的笔要说的话。”
Some of you are in the field, I can see.
现场中的你们一些人懂得，我可以理解。
I can feel your noise.
我可以感受到你们的噪音和认同。
The first half of high school was the struggle of the manic episode,
高中的第一半学期是躁狂发作的艰难时期，
and the second half was the overmedications of these drugs,
下半学期是这些药物的过度滥用，
where I was sleeping through high school.
导致在高中时，我就在睡觉。
The second half was just one big nap, pretty much, in class.
下半学期只是一个大午睡，在课堂上非常过瘾。
When I got out I had a choice.
当我经历之后，我有了一个选择。
I could either deny my mental illness or embrace my mental skillness.
我本可以拒绝我的精神疾病，或者拥抱我精神上的巧妙之处。
There's a movement going on right now to reframe mental illness as a positive --
目前在进行着个运动要重塑精神疾病作为一个积极面--
at least the hypomanic edge part of it.
至少在它的轻度躁狂的边缘方面。
Now if you don't know what hypomania is,
现在如果你不知道什么是轻度躁狂，
it's like an engine that's out of control, maybe a Ferrari engine, with no breaks.
它好似一个不受控制的引擎，或许是一个法拉利引擎，没有刹车。
Many of the speakers here, many of you in the audience, have that creative edge,
这儿的许多演讲者，观众中的许多人身处过这种创造性的边缘，
if you know what I'm talking about.
那么你会知道我所讲的是什么。
You're driven to do something that everyone has told you is impossible.
你被驱动着做些事，每一个人都曾告诉你这事是不可能的。
And there's a book -- John Gartner.
有本书--约翰·加特纳著的。
John Gartner wrote this book called "The Hypomanic Edge"
约翰·加特纳写过这本名叫“轻度躁狂边缘”的书
in which Christopher Columbus and Ted Turner and Steve Jobs
在书里克里斯托夫·哥伦布，特德·特纳和史蒂夫·乔布斯
and all these business minds have this edge to compete.
和所有这些商业头脑都有这种边缘的竞争优势。
A different book was written not too long ago in the mid-90s
不久前，在90年代中期凯·雷德菲尔德·贾米森著有另一本书
called "Touched With Fire" by Kay Redfield Jamison
名叫“与激情之火的碰撞”
in which it was looked at in a creative sense
在书中双向人格障碍症被看做是具有创造性意义
in which Mozart and Beethoven and Van Gogh all have this manic depression that they were suffering with.
例如莫扎特，贝多芬和梵高他们都承受着这躁狂抑郁症的痛苦。
Some of them committed suicide.
他们中一些人自杀了。
So it wasn't all the good side of the illness.
所以这不是这一疾病所有好的一面。
Now recently, there's been development in this field.
最近，这领域有了发展。
And there was an article written in the New York Times, September 2010,
在2010年九月份的纽约时报上写有一篇文章，
that stated: "Just Manic Enough."
它表明：“只是狂躁十足。”
Just be manic enough in which investors who are looking for entrepreneurs
只是要狂躁十足，投资者就是在找寻这样的企业家
that have this kind of spectrum -- you know what I'm talking about --
他们有这种人格双向频谱--大家晓得我所讲的--
not maybe full bipolar, but they're in the bipolar spectrum --
也许不是完全的双向障碍症，但他们可以感知双向人格频谱--
where on one side, maybe you think you're Jesus,
在一边，或许你认为你是耶稣，
and on the other side maybe they just make you a lot of money.
而在另一边或许双向人格会使你变得很富有。
Your call. Your call.
你的命运召唤。你的召唤。
And everyone's somewhere in the middle.
每个人都身处其中。
Everyone's somewhere in the middle.
每个人都身处其中。
So maybe, you know, there's no such thing as crazy,
所以或许，大家晓得，没有被归为疯狂的这回事，
and being diagnosed with a mental illness doesn't mean you're crazy.
被诊断患有精神疾病不意味着你就是疯狂。
But maybe it just means
但或许它只是意味着
you're more sensitive to what most people can't see or feel.
你对于大多数人所看不到或所感知到的东西反而更加敏感。
Maybe no one's really crazy.
或许没有人是真正的疯狂。
Everyone is just a little bit mad.
每个人只是有点狂。
How much depends on where you fall in the spectrum.
多大程度上，这取决于你深陷这人格频谱的程度。
How much depends on how lucky you are.
也多少取决于你有多幸运。
Thank you.
谢谢。