【视频】内向的人vs外向的人

Now I think there's a fair bit of misunderstanding around what an introvert or extrovert actually is.

我觉得，大家对于外向和内向的人，存在着一定程度的误解。

And while introverts are most often portrayed as being shy and awkward, and extroverts as being charismatic and sociable, it isn't always the case.

内向的人通常被认为是害羞且笨拙的，而外向的人常常被认为是有魅力和善于交际，但情况并不总是如此。

To give an example, most people think that stand-up comedians are all super extroverted.

举个例子，大多数人认为单口相声演员都超外向。

Because they go on stage in front of a whole crowd.

因为他们总要在一大群人面前登台表演。

But in practice, most of their time is spent writing, not performing.

但实际上，他们的大部分时间都花在创作上，而不是表演上。

Even someone as famous as Louis C.K has called himself an introvert.

甚至像路易斯·C·K这样的名人也称自己很内向。

Despite the fact that he's performed in front of, what, a dozen women?

尽管他曾在一堆花丛中穿梭，却仍觉得自己害羞腼腆。

So, what does being introverted or extroverted actually mean?

那么，内向或外向到底意味着什么呢？

The first thing is that you're not entirely one or the other.

首先要注意的是，内向和外向并不是严格界定的一个概念。

You're somewhere on a normal distribution or bell curve that runs from total introversion on one side to total extraversion on the other side.

这里需要借用正态分布或钟形曲线的定义，你总是分布在其中一个点上，并不完全属于某一方。

Which means almost everyone is actually around the middle.

这意味着几乎每个人实际上都拥有这两种介质。

You might have heard some people in this category called themselves ambiverted.

你可能听说过有人说自己是双向型人格。

But they're actually just average.

但这实际上也只是一般水平。

Now the simplest definition of the two extremes is that extroverts are energized by social interaction.

现在，对这两个极端的最简单定义是，外向的人善于社交互动。

While introverts are exhausted by it, and prefer more time alone.

而内向的人则恐惧社交，更喜欢独处。

Problem here is that it's easy to self-diagnose without comparing yourself to anyone.

问题是，自我诊断很容易，不需要将自己与任何人进行比较。

But it only really makes sense if you give a group of people a few dozen hypothetical situations.

但只有在几十种假设的情景下考虑，它才真正有意义。

And then rank order their responses relative to everyone else.

然后将人们对这些情境的反应进行对比排列。

So, you're not way off at the end of the introvert spectrum just because you only rate your Uber driver five stars if he doesn't talk to you.

所以，如果你的滴滴司机接你时不和你聊天，然后你给他打五星好评，这并不意味着你是一个极度内向的人。

You're probably just on a different sort of spectrum.

你可能只是处在一个不同的点上。

So without quizzing you on every detail of your life, what are the signs that you're more introverted or extroverted?

所以，从生活中的每一个细节来寻找判断你是内向还是外向的迹象是不准确的。

So extroverts tend to have a lot of acquaintances, while introverts don't.

性格外向的人往往有很多朋友，而内向的人则没有。

This is of course because extroverts tend to meet more people.

当然，这是因为外向的人往往会遇到更多的人。

But also because they're more likely to say, oh boy, I'm not doing anything on Sunday.

但也因为他们更有可能会说：哦，天哪，我周日没什么事可做。

And I haven't seen Cindy for a month.

我已经一个月没见过辛迪了。

I should ask her for coffee.

我应该问问她要不要一起出去喝咖啡。

And I can see how her new job is going.

问问她的新工作进展如何。

Where as an introvert is more likely to say, oh boy, I'm not doing anything on Sunday.

内向的人更有可能会说：哦，太好了，我周日没啥事干，可以自己待着了。

Extroverts experience more positive emotion, or at least experience positive emotion more intensely.

外向的人能体验到更多的积极情绪，或者至少体验到更强烈的积极情绪。

This means they're more enthusiastic and excitable.

这意味着他们更热情、更容易激动。

This is interesting because if you take something like a concert in control for drugs and alcohol,

这很有意思，因为这样的人往往不会误入酒精或毒品这样的歧途，因为他们会去音乐会这样的地方来放松自己，

the people near the front will tend to be more extroverted, while people who are more introverted will be further away from the stage.

外向的人更靠近舞台，内向的人离舞台更远。

Like at home.

就像在家里一样。

So, behaviorally, extroverts might seem to act first and think later.

在行为上，性格外向的人往往会先行动，后思考。

But I think a better description would be that extroverts tend to experience more and reflect less,

但我认为更好的描述是，外向的人往往注重体验，不喜欢思考，

while introverts experience less and reflect more.

而内向的人注重思考，不爱体验。

In a way you could say the biggest fear of an introvert is losing their hearing.

在某种程度上，你可以说内向的人最大的恐惧就是失去听觉。

Because then they couldn't listen, Whereas the biggest fear of an extrovert would be losing their tongue.

因为那样他们就无法听声音了，而外向的人最大的恐惧就是失言。

Because then they couldn't eat ass.

因为那样他们就不能滔滔不绝地展现自己了。

Now you might wonder if your degree of introversion or extroversion changes as you get older, or if you're stuck how you are forever.

现在你可能想知道，你的内向或外向的程度是随着年龄的增长而变化的，还是永远处于一成不变之中？

And for things like how much positive emotion you experience, it doesn't look like that changes much.

你经历了多少积极情绪并不重要，这并不会带来多大的变化。

However, some people make the argument that the things that happen to you during your life can change the way you process emotions.

然而，有些人认为，生活中发生的事情会改变你处理情绪的方式。

I don't know for sure.

我不确定。

But anecdotally, I have never experienced much positive emotion since the big accident.

但是若你经历过什么重大变故，那你可能不大会再有太多积极的情绪。

Being conceived.

你可能会变得沉默。

Ultimately, it's no better or worse to be introverted or extroverted.

归根结底，性格内向或外向并没有好坏之分。

As long as your behavior really is a preference, and what you're doing with your time is meaningful to you.

只要你的行为有一种固定的偏好，你在做的事情对你来说是有意义的就好。

With that said, some extroverts might socialize to avoid personal development.

话虽如此，一些性格外向的人可能会因为社交而压制个性发展。

And some introverts might like to have more friends than they do, but are anxious or lack social skills.

一些内向的人可能想要有更多的朋友，但他们焦虑或缺乏社交技能。

So whatever your disposition, you have to spend time with people, and you have to spend time alone.

所以无论你的性情如何，你必须花时间和人在一起，也必须花时间学会独处。

So make sure you're not being avoidant, or it can lead to some pretty big blind spots.

所以你不能逃避，否则可能会带来更大的伤害。

For me, I remember back when Tinder first came out.

对我来说，我记得Tinder刚发行的时候。

My friends decided I had to go in at least one date Just for the sake of it, because I didn't usually meet many new people.

我的朋友们命令我至少要去赴一次约会，因为我很难交到新朋友。

Now the thing is I didn't have much sexual experience at the time.

我当时没有太多的两性经验。

I mean I still don't.

当然，现在仍然如此。

But I didn't then either.

但当时确实没有。

So when I got a match eventually, I asked them out to a movie.

所以，当时我约到了一个对象，想要邀请对方去看电影。

Because I like watching movies.

因为我喜欢看电影。

And I thought that's what a date was.

我以为这就是约会的意义。

Now what I didn't realize was that when you're watching a movie, you don't really see or interact with the other person at all the whole time.

我没有意识到的是，当你在看一部电影时，你无法一直都关注另一个人或与之互动。

So we were just sitting there with each other in complete darkness not saying a word, as we ate from our own bag of popcorn.

所以我们就坐在那里，一片漆黑，一句话也不说，自顾自地吃爆米花。

Then two and a half hours later, when the movie ended and the house lights came on.

然后，两个半小时后，电影结束，灯亮了。

We looked at each other and said: Good movie, huh?

我们看着对方说：电影还不错，是吧？

Yeah, pretty good.

是啊，相当不错。

And that was the whole date.

这就是整个约会。

So, yeah, five stars.

所以，打个五星好评吧。